Then & Now
Many brothers have walked this road less traveled. Here are some of their stories.
Then & Now: Jeremy
Texas, USA. Single. Christian (Catholic). Born 1978.
I began identifying as gay when I was in junior high school. I began pursuing gay relationships when I was in high school and continued through several gay relationships throughout my 20s.
I did not experience any opposite-sex attraction during those years. I participated in several gay pride parades and had a live-in partner for two years. I used to have sex with other men several times a week. I was completely addicted to homosexual behavior and I viewed every man I met in terms of his physical appearance.
I never really felt happy with the way my life was going. I didn’t feel that that life was compatible with my faith, and over time I realized I couldn’t ignore my conscience any longer.
My Decision Point
I eventually came to the conclusion that gay relationships were never going to be fulfilling for me, and I wanted to find another alternative.
My Road Less Traveled
In late 2009, I began reparative therapy — at first with minimal expectations — and continued through the end of 2011. This included EMDR to address trauma at the roots of my sexual addiction. I knew it would be beneficial for emotional healing, but was unsure if anyone could help me with the sexual addictions or same-sex lust.
I also attended the Journey Into Manhood weekend and participated in follow-up reunions and retreats. I started a small support group that has helped me and many others to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually.
I found every aspect of my therapy and other work was based on improving my self-esteem and self-acceptance. I have seen such an improvement that it would have been worth it even if I hadn’t experienced any shift in my sexuality. In fact, the benefits to my emotional health have been even more important than the benefits of reduced same-sex attraction.
Where I Am Now
The therapy and experiential weekends helped more than I could have ever imagined. Every aspect of my life is better today, and I’m extremely grateful. In fact, even if I hadn’t experienced any shift in my sexuality, the work I’ve done would all be worth it.
I have experienced a significant decrease in my same-sex lust. I have also experienced major healing for emotional wounds and have seen every aspect of my life improve. I feel a lot more assertive and confident at work and in all of my personal relationships. This has made me a much more effective leader and enabled me to be much more effective in my relationships with family and friends. Everyone has noticed a major improvement. I am happier than I’ve ever been.
— Updated 2020