A Peer-led Weekend of Self-Discovery, Healing, and GrowthFebruary 24 to 26, 2023, Arizona
A New Man Weekend Retreat
February 24 to 26, 2023
A peer-led, experiential weekend of self-discovery, brotherhood, personal growth, and inner healing
For men from all walks of life who want more out of life
Society calls on men today to do the impossible — to be the impossible: Be strong but passive. Be sensitive without feeling. Be virile but chaste. Be a leader without leading. Be vulnerable but hide your feelings.
Never have society’s messages about manhood been more confusing or conflicted. Masculinity is even seen by some as the root of all that is wrong with Western society today.
Much of society wants a feminized masculinity — even (sometimes especially) in our faith communities.
How do we make sense of what it means to be a man today?
Can we celebrate rather than demonize our masculinity? Can we ever be truly real with ourselves and others? What about what we need, not what others say they need from us?
A New Man is a groundbreaking workshop-retreat designed especially for men who are ready to face internal conflicts over their masculinity, sexuality, faith, self-image, values, and their relationships with women and with other men.
A New Man is an intensive, immersive experience designed to help you explore and heal underlying pain from the past that may be contributing to inner distress, interpersonal conflicts, and problematic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in your life today.
At A New Man, you’ll encounter the real you — the healthiest, most authentically masculine version of you. Perhaps more than ever before, you’ll catch a vision of the man who God (not society) is calling you to be.
Everyone who participates is seeking to resolve inner conflicts of some kind and to make life choices that are better aligned with their core values, faith, life purpose, and life goals.
How is it different from Journey Into Manhood?
Brothers Road created and presented our first men’s workshop-retreat more than 20 years ago. Called Journey Into Manhood, it is designed especially to help same-sex-attracted (SSA) men address internal conflicts over their sexuality.
Seeing the dramatically positive effects that our program has had on their SSA friends and brothers, many men have encouraged us over the years to broaden our offering to better serve them as well — men who may not experience same-sex attractions but who face other inner conflicts.
So Brothers Road has added this new program, called A New Man, to bring our life-changing work to men from all walks of life who may struggle with inner conflicts around their self-image, values, masculinity, life purpose, sexuality, faith, and their relationships with women and with other men.
Does A New Man replace Journey Into Manhood?
No. It is an additional offering targeted primarily (but not exclusively) to non-SSA men.
If I’ve already attended Journey Into Manhood, should I attend A New Man also?
Probably not, unless you’re attending to support a non-SSA friend. But please do refer your friends and family who may be ready to experience this kind of powerful inner work and brotherhood.
Exploring Through Experience, Not Lecture
A New Man is “experiential.” By that we mean that you’ll explore through experience, not lecture or discussion or “therapy.” Experiential processes are participatory, not passive. These can include experiences like:
- Visualizations or “guided imagery”
- Shame release
- Pondering profound, introspective questions
- Inner-child affirmations and healing
- Emotional processing and release (especially around anger or grief)
- Facing your “stories” and impulses towards women
- Role-playing internal conflicts (a simplified, peer-led form of psychodrama that we call “guts work”).
One simple example: You won’t just talk about where you stand with other men. You will in fact stand eye to eye with another man while we help you process whatever beliefs and feelings might arise.
Exploring Underlying Issues
In the course of the weekend, we explore common underlying issues frequently shared by men who experience inner pain from the past, confusion about who they are and their place in the world, interpersonal conflicts, and problematic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
We explore deep issues like:
- Confusion over what it means to be a man in today’s world.
- Stuck in old recurring habits and self-destructive patterns.
- How you see women and how you relate to them — and what that says about you.
- Stuck between passivity and assertiveness when both are supposedly “bad.”
- Self-image, self-worth, and critical self-talk.
- Buried or unresolved anger, fear, or grief.
- People pleasing, being “Mr. Nice Guy.”
- Having been wounded by men
- Having been wounded by women
- Inner conflict over a yearning to bond with other men and have close male friendships in today’s sexually charged world.
- Fear of rejection
- “Father hunger”
- A longing to belong, to be wanted, or included — but fear of being perceived as needy
- A history of being bullied or abused — or being a bully or abuser
Group and Individual “Work”
We do this work in large-group sessions or small break-out groups. We allow ample time for men to do their own individual work in various small-group settings.
Structured experiences focus on:
1. Recognizing the differences between “stories” (judgments), data (facts), feelings (emotions), and impulses.
2. Recognizing core emotions (anger, fear, sadness, joy) versus counter emotions (shame, anxiety, depression, lust, etc.) versus defenses and distractions — and how they affect us differently.
3. Understanding projections and transferences and how they affect our responses to people and situations.
4. Experiencing self-acceptance and “inner child” healing — in real-time.
5. Framing your inner-healing and -growth work through the lens of four “MANS” principles:
6. Meeting your “Golden Self” and “Shadow Self”
7. Facing some of your deepest wounds — and experiencing breakthroughs in your healing journey.
8. Facing your “shadows” around women
9. Living the surrender principle — yielding your heart to God
10. Your freedom to choose your own life path
We consciously create a safe, supportive yet challenging environment to explore issues, challenge internal “stories” or touch emotions that you may have previously been avoiding.
At A New Man, we face our “stuff” head-on, with courage and rigorous honesty — to the extent that we are ready and willing — rather than hide it or run from it.
Nevertheless, we always honor every man’s free choice. Anyone can “pass” and choose to not participate in any particular process. If you do “pass,” our staff-volunteers will likely ask what is behind that choice for you, but they will never force or pressure you to do anything against your will or to do anything that may not feel quite right to you.
About the People
About the Participants
Typically, participants in Brothers Road weekend intensives range in age from 21 to 70s, but most are in their 20s to 40s. The average age is about 35.
The maximum number of participants per event is 24 to 32. The average is about 22 participants.
Participants in our weekend intensives may be single, partnered, married, divorced, or widowed. Most (but not all) attendees are religious. Most are Christians (of every denominational variety), Jews, and Muslims. Some are non-religious or agnostic.
Participants may include businessmen and entrepreneurs, doctors and other medical professionals, lawyers, artists, pastors, school teachers, college students, college professors, engineers, and many others.
All are men who are seeking to resolve inner conflicts and make life choices that are better aligned with their core values, faith, and life goals.
About the Volunteer Staff
A New Man is peer-led and facilitated by men who have been where you are now — men who have done (and continue to do) their own inner healing and personal-growth work.
It is run by about 15-20 men who volunteer their time because they care deeply about supporting men’s healing and personal growth.
Volunteers either are not professional therapists or are not serving in that professional capacity in the course of the weekend.
The retreat gave me new friends, a new community, and new life. It was a total reset in my life, and a fresh start. I’m forever grateful for my weekend experience.
The weekend has shown me that I am not alone in my struggles. That there is hope, but also hard work that I need to do. I met a lot of other men who are on the same journey as I am, and we support each other in this journey.
It has been an immensely positive experience for me. I did not feel as if I belonged to the world of men until after my weekend. Since then I have been able to grow with and meet some of the most incredible men I have ever met in my life. I have gained self-confidence, self-awareness, sobriety, have matured, and grown in love, truth and strength.
What We Teach and Believe
- You are good and valuable just as you are, right now, today.
- You have brothers who see your “shadows” (weaknesses, blind spots) and love and accept you just as you are.
- Shame never brings about meaningful change, healing, or growth. Bringing our shame into the light by being authentic and vulnerable with a few trusted others can significantly reduce shame and bring about healing and self-acceptance.
- Your beliefs create your internal reality. Change your beliefs (about yourself and others) and you change the world as you know it.
- We embrace and celebrate our masculinity, seeking the healthiest possible balance between the archetypes of Warrior and Lover.
- Emotional healing requires courageous authenticity. “Real men” aren’t afraid to get real, to feel feelings, and face old wounds.
- Authentic, core needs can only be suppressed for so long. Men need to discover their true, underlying needs and learn to meet them in healthier ways.
- Men love to be in control, but control is often an illusion. There is much that is outside our power that we just need to accept. Inner healing requires surrendering our resistance to changing from within. We need to turn our will and our lives over to God, release our attachments to harmful thoughts and behaviors, and find a higher purpose and meaning.