Who We Are
Brothers on a Road Less Traveled (“Brothers Road”) is a non-profit, multi-faith, international fellowship primarily of men from bisexual or same-sex-attracted backgrounds who — for our own, deeply personal reasons — typically do not accept or identify with the label “gay” and prefer instead to explore and address underlying issues and embrace our authentic masculinity.
We are a peer-led, volunteer-based, faith-affirming community that respects the inherent and equal worth, dignity, equal rights, and free will of every human being, regardless of their sexuality or how they may choose to express or address it in their own lives.
Many people painfully deny, suppress, and hide their attractions for years. Others adopt a gay identity and pursue same-sex partnerships and hook-ups. Some find satisfaction in that, others only more turmoil.
Brothers Road offers a third path — neither suppressing nor expressing our same-sex attractions, but exploring and fulfilling our needs for same-sex affection and brotherhood in platonic and affirming ways.
This is the “road less traveled” we choose for ourselves. We support each other in exploring and addressing underlying issues that may be at the root of some of our inner-conflicts around our sexuality, faith, masculinity, and self-esteem.
The core of this journey we call “M.A.N.S. Work.” The acronym stands for Masculinity, Authenticity, Needs Fulfillment and Surrender — four areas of inner healing and personal growth that can potentially bring any man closer to becoming his best self and living his most fulfilled life.
We pursue courageous personal-growth work and a personal spiritual and emotional journey in a supportive community of like-minded brothers.
And as a result:
- Sexual Attractions. Many of us have seen a shift in the nature or intensity of our sexuality over time. Many report a shift toward more platonic feelings of brotherly love.
- Brotherhood. We’ve experienced an increased sense of belonging and brotherhood among men from all walks of life.
- Self-Esteem. Our self-esteem has improved (often greatly!) and feelings of shame have diminished or disappeared.
- Sexual Behaviors. Those of us who have struggled with lustful, self-destructive and out-of-control sexual behaviors have often reduced or even eliminated those behaviors altogether.
- Single and Celibate. Many of us have found a whole new level of peace and fulfillment as we have embraced living a single and celibate lifestyle as a higher calling consistent with our faith and values.
- Marriage and Opposite-Sex Healing. Many of us have experienced meaningful healing in our feelings toward women. Some have found new or increased romantic and sexual interests in the opposite sex. Many married men among us have found renewed commitment to, and love for, wives and family.
- Faith. Many of us have found a renewed sense of peace with God, an increase in faith, and a far greater sense of his unconditional love for us.
- Peace. But more important than all of this, we are finding peace — and peace in a way that aligns our identity, feelings, and behaviors with our deeply held beliefs, faith, values, and life goals (rather than the other way around!).
Who We Are Not
You may have read or heard some falsehoods and gross mischaracterizations about who we are, our beliefs and values. Here’s what you need to know:
- We are not anti-gay. We respect our gay brothers and equal rights. We simply choose to respond to our same-sex attractions differently, in ways that are consistent with our own faith, values, beliefs, and personal life goals. We acknowledge and support the rights of others to do the same — even when their paths might look quite different from ours.
- We don’t provide therapy. We do create peer-led, self-discovery and personal-growth opportunities (workshops, support groups, etc.) to help explore underlying issues within a supportive community and work toward a peaceful resolution to our internal conflicts.
- We don’t serve minors. The minimum age to participate in our programs is 21. The average age of participants is 35.
- We don’t try to turn anybody straight. Our work is not about becoming heterosexual. Rather, it’s about finding peace, love, community, and acceptance — especially self-acceptance. Yes, some of us do experience a shift in the nature or intensity of our sexuality as a result of doing this work. But when that occurs, it’s usually a byproduct of our inner-healing work, rather than the focus.
- We don’t profit from what we do. Rather, we are a non-profit, volunteer-supported, international community. Like any other non-profit, when we charge for services, it is to recoup the expenses to run them, and to pay the bills that keep the organization going.
‘Two Roads Diverged’
Different Paths for Different People
Yes, we represent a significant alternative to gay-affirming identities and lifestyles. That is our choice. It is our right to pursue happiness as we see fit, especially when it involves something as personal as our sexuality, our faith, our emotions and our relationships.
Yet we respect the right of others to pursue different paths to peace. We believe in civil discourse and in mutual respect, even — and especially — when we disagree.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
—Robert Frost, 1916