Guest Blog by Anna —
It’s been exactly 24 weeks since my husband disclosed that he has unwanted same-sex attraction. It seems strange to write 24 weeks, because it feels more like 24 months. We have traveled so far in such a short amount of time. I no longer feel like I am on a roller coaster of emotions – life feels steady and normal again. I don’t cry very often and I don’t look like a hot mess on the daily.
My husband often remarks that it so strange to be known; to talk openly with me and be completely honest. Spending his entire life with no one to talk to openly was literally killing him. Talking about it just seems normal to me now, though occasionally one or both of us are caught off guard by the level of honesty and depth of intimacy that we now share. He is still amazed that I love him anyway.
We are still on a road of healing and wholeness. We have read a ton of books, articles, and blogs, as well as listened to many podcasts (as you may know). We are still seeing a counselor, though not as often. My husband is planning on some in-depth therapy soon. We are still spending a lot of time together – going out on dates, working on projects, reading about marriage, and just having fun together.
It keeps getting easier. Most days just seem normal again. I don’t look at my husband and immediately think about his attractions; I just see my best friend. We spend more time talking about and planning for the future than we do worrying over the past. I’m not afraid of the future. I’m not sure what the future looks like, but that’s okay.
We still haven’t told our children, and probably won’t for a quite a while. We don’t want to burden them unnecessarily. However, I do feel like God keeps bringing people into our lives that somehow or another relate to homosexuality. So we will see where God leads us and how our story will play out for His glory.
Originally published at So I Married a Gay Man: Finding God’s hope and joy in the journey of a mixed-orientation marriage. Re-published with permission.