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Tools & Resources

Resources

 

Counselors & Life Coaches

How do you find a qualified professional with the experience, training and wisdom to help you with the challenges of addressing your same-sex attractions in affirming ways that align with your faith, values, morals and life goals? We can help.

Other Ministries, Websites, Groups

We provide these resources for informational purposes, to assist sincere adults in furthering their personal work and doing their own research.

Articles and Videos

While so many media seem to be needlessly threatened by — or even hostile toward — our values and choices, there are still those who do try to be fair and really understand who we are and the paths we’ve chosen. Here we share articles and videos that present helpful perspectives.

Tools & Teachings

 

The work of Brothers Road isn’t just about addressing same-sex attractions. It’s really about healthier living, healthier relationships, better communication, and greater self-awareness. It’s about becoming our best selves.

Here are just a few of the tools and teachings we use on this road to becoming the next best version of ourselves! 

Break Unwanted Sexual Habits

Through HeartPower, Not Willpower

The Brothers Road “HeartPower” program for men struggling with same-sex lust, sexual addictions, or sexual compulsions invites you to consider 6 areas of healing work. Read about them here.

A “Clearing” Model

“Clearings” are a step-by-step process to help understand what’s behind a distressing or upsetting reaction to a person or event. Clearings are about understanding ourselves and our reactions to certain people and events so we can become more at peace and “clear” with them and within ourselves.

IMPORTANT: Clearings are never about trying to change the other person. (If you want to ask someone to change something about themselves or how they act toward you, use the HEALING DIALOGUE model instead.)

Challenge Distressing Thoughts

This “beliefs inquiry” model (from The Work of Byron Katie) helps you challenge your distressing thoughts — asking questions like, “Is this really true?,” or “Where did you get that belief?”

Reframe a Same-Sex Attraction

Using the Brothers Road M.A.N.S. principles, discover what lies beneath an attraction. What is really going on? What are your real needs? What do you need to surrender? And especially, what changes when you look at another man from your own Golden Masculinity State rather than from a wounded, envious or needy state?

A Beliefs Inventory: How Do Your Beliefs Affect You?

This “Beliefs Inventory” makes no judgment about whether your beliefs are good or bad, right or wrong. It’s just an opportunity to take a frank and honest look at what you believe about yourself and others — and how those beliefs (true or not) affect you.

Complete each sentence stem with whatever comes to mind. Continue as many times as you want.

A Healing Dialogue: Working Toward Resolution

Creating emotional safety first and establishing mutually shared purpose open the door to win-win resolutions to interpersonal conflicts. This communications model is significantly influenced by the “Crucial Conversations” books and resources, along with the principles of “non-violent communications.”

Every Man’s Core Needs

In doing this work, we have discovered some authentic core needs that every man may need to fulfill in order to thrive and become his best self.

Experiencing Core Emotions

Many of us learned, growing up, that emotions are bad. Especially anger, tears, and fear. Especially for boys. So we learned to stuff and hide our emotions. But they didn’t go away, they just came out in unhealthy and sometimes dangerous ways. The truth is, time doesn’t heal all wounds. Instead, as we often say, “You gotta feel it to heal it.”

Declaration on Avoiding Harm

The Reconciliation and Growth Project, a diverse group of gay-affirming and faith-affirming therapists who seek common ground, proclaims that “Banning specific therapies does not stop abuse in therapy. Detailing specific harmful practices can.” This, not legal bans on “unacceptable” therapy goals, can be a model for honoring client self-determination while avoiding harm.

Brothers Road Statement on So-Called “Conversion Therapy”

We in the Brothers Road community strongly oppose any kind of “therapy,” “ministry,” or “change effort” that is forced on anyone against their will, assumes that same-sex attractions derive from mental illness, imposes a predetermined agenda on someone, etc.

On the other hand, we strongly support therapies and programs that individuals can freely choose, that actively show respect for an individual’s right to self-determination, and affirm an individual’s inherent value.

When Friendships Become Toxic

Is it emotional dependency? Co-dependency? Enmeshment? Obsession? What do you when your “ideal” friendship becomes unhealthy?

Faith, Brotherhood & Same-Sex Needs

Personal discoveries on a Christian/SSA journey: Be honest, don’t be a victim, be needy, live in the now, live in “the land of IS.”

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Getting What You Really Want in Life

“Nice Guys” are obsessed with seeking others’ approval and with avoiding conflict at all costs. The opposite of a nice guy is not a bad guy or a mean guy. The opposite is an integrated man.

How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

The road to recovery goes through your childhood, Eddie Capparucci teaches. In other words, if we understand why we do what we do, our ability to shift away from undesirable behaviors dramatically increases.