Then & Now

Many brothers have walked this road less traveled. Here are some of their stories.

Then & Now: Jeremy

Texas, USA. Single. Christian (Catholic). Born 1978.

Before

I began identifying as gay when I was in junior high school. I began pursuing gay relationships when I was in high school and continued through several gay relationships throughout my 20s.

I did not experience any opposite-sex attraction during those years. I participated in several gay pride parades and had a live-in partner for two years. I used to have sex with other men several times a week. I was completely addicted to homosexual behavior and I viewed every man I met in terms of his physical appearance.

I never really felt happy with the way my life was going. I didn’t feel that that life was compatible with my faith, and over time I realized I couldn’t ignore my conscience any longer.

My Decision Point

I eventually came to the conclusion that gay relationships were never going to be fulfilling for me, and I wanted to find another alternative.

My Road Less Traveled

In late 2009, I began reparative therapy — at first with minimal expectations — and continued through the end of 2011. This included EMDR to address trauma at the roots of my sexual addiction. I knew it would be beneficial for emotional healing, but was unsure if anyone could help me with the sexual addictions or same-sex lust.

I also attended the Journey Into Manhood weekend and participated in follow-up reunions and retreats. I started a small support group that has helped me and many others to continue to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Every aspect of my therapy and other work was based on improving my self-esteem and self-acceptance.

I found every aspect of my therapy and other work was based on improving my self-esteem and self-acceptance. I have seen such an improvement that it would have been worth it even if I hadn’t experienced any shift in my sexuality. In fact, the benefits to my emotional health have been even more important than the benefits of reduced same-sex attraction.

Where I Am Now

The therapy and experiential weekends helped more than I could have ever imagined. Every aspect of my life is better today, and I’m extremely grateful. In fact, even if I hadn’t experienced any shift in my sexuality, the work I’ve done would all be worth it.

I have experienced a significant decrease in my same-sex lust. I have also experienced major healing for emotional wounds and have seen every aspect of my life improve. I feel a lot more assertive and confident at work and in all of my personal relationships. This has made me a much more effective leader and enabled me to be much more effective in my relationships with family and friends. Everyone has noticed a major improvement. I am happier than I’ve ever been.

— Updated 2020